Home Selling – That 1 Realtor Guy

Bother Me. Seriously!

🤔 “I didn’t want to bother you…” I can't tell you how many times I've heard that or something along the lines of:“We’re not quite ready yet.”“We’re still deciding what to do.”“We just started looking online.” Look, I appreciate the politeness... but stop it. You’re not bothering me. You’re doing exactly what you should be doing. You’re asking questions before...

Labor Day Special: Why Moving is the Worst Form of Labor

Labor Day, a day to honor the working class by not working; unless, of course, you’re moving. In that case, welcome to the seventh circle of hell. Between lifting boxes you definitely overpacked (because how heavy could books really be?), losing your will to live somewhere between the U-Haul ramp and the IKEA dresser you swore was “easy to move,” and bribing friends with pizza and beer that...

August Sellers: Not Screwed, Just Slightly Behind Schedule

If you’d asked me back in January when the best time to sell your home in Portland would be, I would’ve looked you square in the face (probably mid-coffee sip) and said: “Between May and July, my friend.” And you know what? I would’ve been right. But here you are. It’s August. Maybe you were busy. Maybe you were on vacation. Maybe you just really needed to finish binge-watching your...

3 Lies Sellers Still Believe (That Are Killing Their Home Sale in Portland)

Let’s cut the crap. Selling a home in the Portland metro isn’t the same as it was in 2021 when you could slap a “For Sale” sign in your yard, post blurry iPhone photos, and still get 19 offers in 24 hours. This market? It’s pickier, slower, buyers have more negotiation power. So if your home’s been sitting on Zillow longer than that abandoned shopping cart under the Burnside Bridge, it...

Shit I Wish Sellers Knew (But No One Tells Them)

Let’s rip the Band-Aid off:Selling a home in 2025 is not the same as selling a home in 2021.The 2020-2021 market is gone. It's over, it's moved on. And it’s not coming back with a dozen offers that are $100K over asking, and a buyer willing to give naming rights to their firstborn just to win the deal. Today’s Portland real estate market is a different beast. And if you want to actually sell your...

Is It a Good Time to Buy or Sell? Well…Define “Good”

Because Apparently “Stable” Is No Longer a Thing Let’s not sugarcoat it — the world’s a goddamn circus right now.We’ve got bombs dropping overseas, immigration protests filling the streets, and the Fed once again looking at everyone like Bill Lumbergh from Office Space like, “Yeah… we’re gonna go ahead and do absolutely nothing.” Meanwhile, you’re out here wondering if now...

Sunshine, Showings, and Stubborn Sellers

I love this time of year, the days are long, I can finally see blue skies beyond the clouds, the grill gets a workout, and the beers are cold. It's also when the Portland real estate market finally shakes off its rainy season hangover and gets moving. Historically, summer is one of the busiest seasons for Portland home buyers and sellers — and 2025 is shaping up to be no different… except when it...

Why Your Zestimate is a Joke (And Other Things Zillow Won’t Tell You)

Let’s just say it: Zestimates are garbage, or at best, educated guesses made by an algorithm that’s never been inside your home. They’re like looking up your symptoms on WebMD and deciding you’ve got 48 hours to live. Entertaining? Maybe. Accurate? Not so much. You’ve probably looked up your home on Zillow at some point and either felt rich as hell or wildly insulted. Either way, you...

Spring Cleaning or Spring Selling? Why Decluttering is Just an Excuse to Move

Springtime in Portland, OR... the season of renewal, fresh starts, and the annual tradition of pretending you’re going to declutter your house instead of just buying a new one. Let’s be honest: you don’t need a Pinterest-perfect, minimalist living room. You need an escape from that questionable design choice you made five years ago when you were trying to find new things to do during the...

Love at First Sight: How to Make Buyers Fall for Your Home Instantly

You ever walk into a house and immediately think, "Nope, this place is cursed?" Yeah, buyers do that too. And if you don’t want your home to be the one they run from like it’s haunted, you have to put in some effort. Selling a house isn’t just about slapping a “For Sale” sign in the yard and hoping for the best. You've got to seduce these buyers. Make them want your house. Make them walk in...