Open House Etiquette: Don’t Be That Person

Open houses are a bit like first dates. You want to look around, ask the right questions, and maybe imagine a future together. You don’t want to steal food, destroy the bathroom, or make everyone in the room question their life choices.

Here’s your unofficial guide on how not to act at an open house. Yes, these are based on real things people have done. No, I’m not okay.

1. The Fridge Raider:

You’re here to see if the kitchen works for your lifestyle, not to test if the hummus is still good.  I’ll usually have some sort of snack, but it’ll be on the counter.  It’s not Ikea, you don’t have to build your own from what’s in the fridge.  And this isn’t Costco, not everything is a free sample.  No snacking, no sneaking a beer, and for the love of everything holy, no reheating leftovers.

2. The Bathroom Gambler:

If you absolutely must go… don’t. That’s it.  Look, emergencies happen. But unless you’re having a full-blown intestinal crisis, save it. This is not your bathroom. This is a stranger’s toilet with a potentially fragile plumbing system and an in-home security system capturing your every move. Don’t be the legend that lives in infamy.

3. The Creeper and Drawer Diver:

“Just curious” is not an excuse to go rummaging through nightstands and sock drawers. Don’t open dresser drawers. Don’t try on the homeowner’s jacket “just to see how it fits.” And for the love of all things Holy, do not lie on the bed. If you’re horizontal at an open house, you’ve made several wrong turns in life. If you wouldn’t do it at your in-laws’ house, don’t do it here.

4. The Oversharer:

It’s okay to say “this isn’t my style.” It’s not okay to loudly critique the homeowner’s taste in decor, art, or furniture. Not every house will smell like lavender and fresh-baked cookies. Some smell like… people. That’s life. Keep your commentary and dramatic gags to yourself, especially with a house full of other people. If it’s truly that bad, maybe don’t announce it with a gag reel and a coughing fit while their Ring camera silently judges you.

5. The Clinger:

Chatting with the agent is fine. Following them around like a lost puppy and asking if they “also feel energy in the walls” is not. Got questions? Ask away. That’s what I’m here for. But following me into closets, whispering “this place feels haunted,” or asking if I’ll move in with you if you buy it??  We’ve crossed a line.  And I left my sage bundle at home.

Exploring homes should be exciting. But please, treat the place (and the people) with basic human decency. Open houses can be a fun way to explore, but let’s keep it classy (or at least not criminal).  Want to see a home and promise not to poop in it? I’m your guy!