Real Estate – Page 3 – That 1 Realtor Guy

Keeping It Weird, Why Portland Lifestyle Supercharges Your Home’s Value

If you’ve ever tried to explain Portland to an out-of-towner, you know it’s not just a place it’s a personality. It’s rain jackets hung by the door (no umbrellas), a dog-friendly latte run, a hike before brunch, and neighbors swapping cookies on the porch while the whole block glows with holiday lights. That lifestyle isn’t fluff; it’s a real value driver for homes in Portland and the...

Rain, Mud, & “WTF Is In My Crawlspace”

Listen… I hate crawlspaces. I hate them more than I hate Portland drivers who camp out in the left lane on the freeway. I hate them more than I hate HOA boards. I hate them more than I hate when a seller tells me “the house is photo-ready” and then I walk in and it looks like a raccoon-themed escape room. I am a full-grown adult with a mortgage who also has a childlike fear of dark, tight...

What to Know After The Fed Meeting

We had another great Halloween this year. Yeah it rained (because of course it did) but that didn’t stop the dedicated trick-or-treaters from showing up to my driveway. Apparently we’re officially “that house” now. The one with the hot chocolate, the full-sized candy bars, and the beer and wine for all the parents who absolutely needed a drink after wrangling a sugar-high toddler in a dinosaur...

Bother Me. Seriously!

🤔 “I didn’t want to bother you…” I can't tell you how many times I've heard that or something along the lines of:“We’re not quite ready yet.”“We’re still deciding what to do.”“We just started looking online.” Look, I appreciate the politeness... but stop it. You’re not bothering me. You’re doing exactly what you should be doing. You’re asking questions before...

Home Staging or Deception? The Art of Making a Dump Look Decent

Online house-hunting is a gift from the real estate gods. You can filter out half the nonsense; price, beds, neighborhoods, and school zones without burning a gallon of gas or pretending you “love the bones” of a house that smells like old soup. But let’s be real: photos lie, staging lies, and your phone screen will whisper sweet nothings until you walk through the front door and say, “What the...

Labor Day Special: Why Moving is the Worst Form of Labor

Labor Day, a day to honor the working class by not working; unless, of course, you’re moving. In that case, welcome to the seventh circle of hell. Between lifting boxes you definitely overpacked (because how heavy could books really be?), losing your will to live somewhere between the U-Haul ramp and the IKEA dresser you swore was “easy to move,” and bribing friends with pizza and beer that...

Back to School in Portland

The last scraps of summer are hanging on in Oregon, and you can already feel the pumpkin-spice-everything takeover creeping in. Lattes, candles, air fresheners, pretty soon even your goddamn dog’s shampoo will smell like pumpkin spice. But before we all surrender to the seasonal onslaught, I’m still soaking up the warm evenings and pretending this weather will last through Thanksgiving. On my end,...

Shit I Wish Sellers Knew (But No One Tells Them)

Let’s rip the Band-Aid off:Selling a home in 2025 is not the same as selling a home in 2021.The 2020-2021 market is gone. It's over, it's moved on. And it’s not coming back with a dozen offers that are $100K over asking, and a buyer willing to give naming rights to their firstborn just to win the deal. Today’s Portland real estate market is a different beast. And if you want to actually sell your...

Is It a Good Time to Buy or Sell? Well…Define “Good”

Because Apparently “Stable” Is No Longer a Thing Let’s not sugarcoat it — the world’s a goddamn circus right now.We’ve got bombs dropping overseas, immigration protests filling the streets, and the Fed once again looking at everyone like Bill Lumbergh from Office Space like, “Yeah… we’re gonna go ahead and do absolutely nothing.” Meanwhile, you’re out here wondering if now...

Sunshine, Showings, and Stubborn Sellers

I love this time of year, the days are long, I can finally see blue skies beyond the clouds, the grill gets a workout, and the beers are cold. It's also when the Portland real estate market finally shakes off its rainy season hangover and gets moving. Historically, summer is one of the busiest seasons for Portland home buyers and sellers — and 2025 is shaping up to be no different… except when it...