Real Estate – Page 3 – That 1 Realtor Guy

Home Staging or Deception? The Art of Making a Dump Look Decent

Online house-hunting is a gift from the real estate gods. You can filter out half the nonsense; price, beds, neighborhoods, and school zones without burning a gallon of gas or pretending you “love the bones” of a house that smells like old soup. But let’s be real: photos lie, staging lies, and your phone screen will whisper sweet nothings until you walk through the front door and say, “What the...

Labor Day Special: Why Moving is the Worst Form of Labor

Labor Day, a day to honor the working class by not working; unless, of course, you’re moving. In that case, welcome to the seventh circle of hell. Between lifting boxes you definitely overpacked (because how heavy could books really be?), losing your will to live somewhere between the U-Haul ramp and the IKEA dresser you swore was “easy to move,” and bribing friends with pizza and beer that...

Back to School in Portland

The last scraps of summer are hanging on in Oregon, and you can already feel the pumpkin-spice-everything takeover creeping in. Lattes, candles, air fresheners, pretty soon even your goddamn dog’s shampoo will smell like pumpkin spice. But before we all surrender to the seasonal onslaught, I’m still soaking up the warm evenings and pretending this weather will last through Thanksgiving. On my end,...

Shit I Wish Sellers Knew (But No One Tells Them)

Let’s rip the Band-Aid off:Selling a home in 2025 is not the same as selling a home in 2021.The 2020-2021 market is gone. It's over, it's moved on. And it’s not coming back with a dozen offers that are $100K over asking, and a buyer willing to give naming rights to their firstborn just to win the deal. Today’s Portland real estate market is a different beast. And if you want to actually sell your...

Is It a Good Time to Buy or Sell? Well…Define “Good”

Because Apparently “Stable” Is No Longer a Thing Let’s not sugarcoat it — the world’s a goddamn circus right now.We’ve got bombs dropping overseas, immigration protests filling the streets, and the Fed once again looking at everyone like Bill Lumbergh from Office Space like, “Yeah… we’re gonna go ahead and do absolutely nothing.” Meanwhile, you’re out here wondering if now...

Sunshine, Showings, and Stubborn Sellers

I love this time of year, the days are long, I can finally see blue skies beyond the clouds, the grill gets a workout, and the beers are cold. It's also when the Portland real estate market finally shakes off its rainy season hangover and gets moving. Historically, summer is one of the busiest seasons for Portland home buyers and sellers — and 2025 is shaping up to be no different… except when it...

Man Caves, Beer Fridges & the Unsung Legends We Call Dad

You ever notice how on Mother's Day, brunch reservations book out a month in advance, every flower shop looks like they've been looted by sentimental pirates, and Facebook is flooded with sappy tributes that make those cheesy Hallmark movies look like Commando in comparison? But on Father’s Day?The top trending gifts are a tie and a $15 Home Depot gift card and maybe—maybe—a meat thermometer....

Should You Sell Before the Market Crashes? (Spoiler: Maybe)

Hey friends, enemies, and people who clicked on this by accident—welcome to my updated, recently remodeled (down-to-the-studs) digital home. If you've read my blogs before, nothing has really changed except that the layout and website is much prettier than before. It's like a totally revamped 50s home that was nice on the inside but looked like crap from the street. Well, now that's been addressed....

Mother’s Day Real Estate: From Multi-Gen Living to Downsizing – Because Mom Deserves More Than a Candle

Let’s be real, Mother’s Day gets commercialized into a brunch reservation and a card with glitter that’s going to stay in your carpets until July. But the moms in our lives deserve more. They deserve security, peace, and a place that feels like home. Whether it’s a bigger one to keep the family close, or a smaller one that doesn’t involve a deathmatch with stairs every night. For...

Experts Say You Missed the Best Week to Sell… So Are You Totally Screwed?

According to Realtor.com, the best week to list your house this year was April 13–19. So if you didn’t throw a sign in the yard, hire a drone guy, and stage your home like it’s a Crate & Barrel catalog during that timeframe... You clearly blew it. It’s over. Just give up and turn your place into a long-term Airbnb or live there forever...kidding. Sort of. Are you actually screwed?...